It's that time of year again! Like all other law students before me, I have some advice for first-years.

Don't be the pompous windbag who speaks just to hear himself talk. Nobody likes that guy. Many law students operate under the conceit that they will be the one the professor bestows the slight nudge for class participation come grade time. Doesn't happen. You will be the scourge of your section.

I know you. I know what you're thinking. You think, well, that's only x% of the class! I am terribly sorry, but everyone knows about you by the end of the year. Even the professors giggle about you behind your back and invent nicknames for you they let slip in class. This is not a positive marketing effort and does nothing to advance your career. You will be gossiped about, ridiculed and mocked. It will come back to haunt you.

If you need to speak in class, be thoughtful and to the point. Nobody wants to hear the inner workings of your brain creaking aloud. It is painful to witness. Your contracts professor is never going to utter aloud the words, "Well, Mr. X. You've succinctly summed up all there is to know about contracts. Class is over, see you at finals." In short, don't be so full of yourself.

And for turtle's sake, if you need to dialogue with the professor, do it after class, in office hours. Don't be the person who is first to the front of the class every day asking long windbag-esque questions preventing all of your fellow students from asking their own.

Don't be the pompous jerk. Getting all A's is cool. Telling everyone about it isn't. Posting your grades in the hallway/your dormitory/the classroom demonstrates your complete lack of personal skills. Tell your mother if you got all A's. If for some reason you land a big-firm job for your 1L summer, tell no one.

Don't be the law review article freak. You don't need to read them now. First year classes are overviews of the material and don't necessarily cover all topics. Reading law review articles will likely get you into hot water in an exam when you go down a road that is hyper-tangential, but hey, it must be correct, because you read it in a journal article, right? See below if you need a way to spend some free time.

Don't be the fawner. (Closely related to the jerk, windbag and freak, although the fawner is sometimes found among the recluses). Your sycophantic behavior will do you no good. Fellow students will despise you and such behavior will not alter any professor's view of you.

Law students think too much of professors. They also tend to think too much like their professors. If your professors are flaming liberals, don't be afraid to express your conservative views, and vice versa. Just back up your views with critical thought, not propaganda. If you think a particular position is "right in your heart" but don't have a analytical perspective on the matter, keep your mouth shut. Law school is not about what you "feel" is right.

Don't parrot back the prof's philosophy of life on the exam. They want the law, not what they think. They already know what they think and don't need you to remind them.

Don't be the slacker. Do read all of your cases and assigned material (except whatever is assigned for legal writing -- usually worthless). Brief as much as you need to, but no more. Four pages of briefing on a three page case is typically too much.

Don't be the over-eager "leader". Your classmates do not want to be herded up and led. The only real function of the Student Bar Association is to throw parties or sponsor bar-hops. Only run if you can throw a good party. A good way to judge this is to count how many times you woke up in a strange place in the past year.

Don't be the recluse. If the only place people ever see you is in the library, you're not doing too well on the social front. Go to social events. Go even if you are morally opposed to alcoholic excesses. On the other hand, don't be the person who drinks too much and makes an ass of himself.

Also, don't forget to make friends. It is not you v. the rest of the class. These people will be your first professional contacts when you graduate. Be friendly to everyone (see also "Pompous Jerk" above).

Don't join a study group. They are usually time-wasters. There is always at least one person who expects a free ride (i.e., a copy of your outlines). Try to study in the same room with a bunch of people that you can sound off on if necessary. It's infinitely more fun, too. Don't expect your studying experiences to be 100% efficient. Get your work done, but have a good time. If you need assistance in understanding the concepts, it is better to put yourself out there to someone you're actually friends with. Study aids can be helpful. I particularly recommend Chirelstein on Contracts. [Note also that Chirelstein, who is incredibly well respected for his insightful non-windbagginess, never went to class his first year of school.]

Don't be the couple. Whatever you do, it is a horribly bad idea to date someone in your section. Everyone knows about you within approximately one week of your conjoining. Wait until your second year to date someone in your class.

Don't be "the law student". Spend time outside of the confines of the law school. Get out of the library. Go do something. Read a book, write, go see a movie, meet graduate students in different schools, connect with old friends (if you haven't moved, stay in touch with your friends and see them often), volunteer, network and work on developing your burgeoning career (or if you are a mid life switcher, keep up your contacts!), go to a different restaurant each week, go shopping, explore the historical sites about town, and keep in touch with your family.

Don't pick arguments with your friends just because you're in law school (it's not like you're actually a more skilled debater after a few months. See "conceit" above) or become a law zombie.

Remember, you are neither that good nor that important.

p.s. I will make the fine distinction here that prolix writing is not to be considered a windbag's sport. I am not forcing this upon a captive audience!

ADDENDUM:

Do not wear a suit to orientation.
Do not wear a suit to class, unless you have an interview or are arguing your moot court brief.
Do not carry a briefcase to class.

They are absolutely unnecessary and scream pretentious affectation.