You know, I've always wanted to have my own intern (a la Seinfeld). Free labor, undying gratitude for the resume enhancement I provide, and the feeling of providing a real learning experience to someone learning the craft (where's my coffee, you worthless scum?!). Apparently bloggers with interns are the new, new thing. In the spirit of capitalizing on every blog meme that comes through the pipes, here's my timely contribution.

Job #: 5679497 - Minion and Devotee of Alice
Sarcastic, witty, slightly belligerent yet sheep-like law student wanted for intern position. This position does not include financial remuneration, but you'll have the time of your life being my unpaid lackey! Responsibilities will include internet research, trudging through the garbage to get to the good stuff, as well as moderate ego stroking. This is a great opportunity to be creative and truly make a difference in the legal world.* It's also a great way to get your foot in the door.** This position is highly sought after because of the responsibility and experience it offers.***

Interns for Alice, Inc. must be able to devote themselves to this demanding position with utter disregard to their outside lives. Daily memoranda and updates of legal news and potential objects of ridicule are required. Hyperhedonia is a plus.

Interested candidates should email a copy of their resume, a color photograph, and a contract waiving all rights to their firstborn. Please reference the job number in all correspondence. Applications not conforming to these rules will be placed in the circular file. Undergraduate and pre-law students should enclose a $25 application fee via Paypal to grease the wheels.

*Scammed from first site to pop up in Google search for intern wanted.
** Scammed from second site.
*** DOJ!