Professor-student dynamics are weird. A certain professor ("Professor X") has taken a liking to me and invited me to join the cadre of research assistants at the law school. I feel as if I've been inducted into a highly secretive and bizarre group. There are a few key symptoms:

Every other sentence out of my mouth is "Professor X said...". The other half of the sentences start like "I have to do A,B,C for Professor X...". What's happening to me? Professor X & I think alike, but enough is enough!

All of my friends are starting to wonder what black hole I got sucked into. Well, while I was doing A, B, & C for Professor X, I wasn't hanging out with you. But let me tell you about A, B, & C while you're asking!

I haven't yet begun to study for exams. That's because I've been spending too much time working for Professor X. I've not yet even studied for X's exam, but I'm sure to be well prepared since all I do is research extremely esoteric questions of law that have no practical effect whatsoever.

I start randomly talking about Westlaw. For fun. I've logged so many hours on the damned thing I don't even bother counting anymore. And like only a true law geek, I know what's available on Westlaw that's not available on Lexis, and vice versa.

I get ten times more email than I did a few short weeks ago. Professor X is constantly emailing me -- even at 2 in the morning. This, of course, begs the question: Is Professor X human?

I've been bombarded with questions from fellow students about X's class. I'm not the damned expert here, people. Ask X! By the way, do you think I could get your outline? No, I don't have one of my own. Too busy doing work for X.

Of course, there are some benefits, like knowing what will come out of X's mouth before the rest of the class (because, uh, I did the research), and some killer recommendations. The rest of you guys should try being a toadie. Really. It's fun!